Last week I was prompted to think about the question, “Are you moving faithfully forward into the unknown or are you standing still because it seems easier?”
Wow. The unknown can be a scary place for a creature of comfort, habit, plans and control. I like to be prepared, know all my options, have directions and plan escape routes if needed. If I can’t do any of those things, I’m afraid to move — especially forward.
However, the Lord has led me through many issues of fear and control over the past couple of years. Until counseling, I never realized that control issues from my childhood were manifesting themselves now as an adult — only differently. My obsessive compulsions to control the cleanliness of my room, that my shoes were perfectly lined up in the closet and my school notes were executed sans smudges and erasing was comforting. I liked it. I could control me. And I wasn’t about to move forward with anything I couldn’t control.
Fast forward 15 years to that obsessive, controlling, routine-driven little girl’s marriage proposal.
Elation and anxiety hit at the same time. Happiness and fear. The choice to move faithfully forward or become paralyzed was presented. I knew what my heart wanted and I knew what the Lord wanted but all I could hear was what my flesh wanted. My flesh wanted what was comfortable and safe and, to me, those things were control, a plan and an escape route.
Did you know in marriage you can’t control your spouse? Did you know you can’t plan your future – and especially not someone else’s? You can easily see why marriage can become a control freak’s worst nightmare.
After much counseling and insight from Godly people, I learned that I was just going to have to be okay with the unknowns of marriage and sharing my future with another human. Stepping out into a world I did not know forced me to cling to God with every ounce of strength I had. God and I became close. Real close. And, on the other side of making that marriage commitment to my husband, I am grateful for having to have faced the struggle and pain of the unknown. It brought me closer to God and revealed blessings I would have never known had I stayed where it was safe and I was in control. It also revealed God’s strength through my weakness. To Him be the glory.
It’s not always easy but I trust God now. The unknown isn’t as scary and I feel capable of saying "yes" more to where God is calling me; even if I can’t see the next step ahead of me.
What’s the next step for you? Will you faithfully move forward into the unknown or will you stay where you are and potentially miss out of the fullest life God has for you?
Shannon Price, Communications Coordinator