Daily Devotional

Proverbs 5:18-19

18 May your fountain be blessed,
and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.

19 A loving doe, a graceful deer—
may her breasts satisfy you always,
may you ever be intoxicated with her love.

 

 

We conclude the week by talking about the topic of intimacy. Sex is a large part of the life experience, yet many people are afraid to discuss it from God’s perspective.  Why?  Sex is one of God’s greatest gifts.  Christians, then, have a right to not only have sex and discuss sex; we also have a right to the best sexual discussions and the best sexual experiences on the planet!  Great sex is a gift from our Dad, God!

 

As we grow closer to God in holiness, God opens the path for the gift of sex to be enjoyed.  God is in the business of doing what’s best for His children.  In some of the best things we have on earth – art, literature, music, science, etc. – God has glorified Himself by using Christians to help the world discover excellence.  It is consistent with God’s nature for Christians to be excellent at sex, so we can then place the topic in the light and remove it from darkness.   God desires for us to communicate, be committed, conflict, and share romance in ways that glorify Him. He opens the door for us to enjoy Biblical intimacy. He is in the business of giving us the very best, and that includes sex.

 

• On a scale of 1-10, how much do you feel you know about and enjoy sex?  What plans will you make to move one step closer to a “10” this year?

 

• God, thank You that every good and perfect gift – including sex - comes from You.

ajordan@southlandchristian.org

1 Peter 3:7

7 Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.

Ecclesiastes 9:9 9 Enjoy life with your wife, whom you love, all the days of this meaningless life that God has given you under the sun—all your meaningless days. For this is your lot in life and in your toilsome labor under the sun

 

Do you remember what went through your mind when you tried to attract a person of the opposite sex?  The practice of romance leads us toward dynamic sexual intimacy.  Many people know what it is like to be romantic when they are single.  Unfortunately, married couples often tend to let romance slide off the radar, becoming forgetful and lazy about what was important in wooing our mates. 

 

Romance is important for appreciation and enjoyment of one another.  Romance is a key to great sex.  God has allowed within us a desire for romantic love.  The idea of romance devolving over the years is not God’s will for us.  He provides a whole Book of the Bible – The Song of Solomon – in part to help us understand the role romance plays in Biblical love, sex and marriage. 

 

It is neat for me to watch how God allows my romantic efforts to lead towards my wife’s responsiveness in romance.  Romance allows all of us to act in a way of appreciation towards our mate.  Our efforts help us treat one another with admiration.  Appreciation and admiration lead towards great romance which leads towards great sex. Romance can be hard work, but romance does lead towards great rewards.

• How well do you know your mate? Complete and discuss one another’s needs and desires this week.

 

• Dear Lord, thank You for my spouse. Help me to make them feel they are my most important human relationship through romance.

ajordan@southlandchristian.org

 

Ephesians 5:25-29

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her26 to make her holy, cleansingt her by the washing with water through the word,27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church—

 

 

 

Conflict. That’s not a word one might usually think of as it pertains to God’s best for sex.  However, a healthy handling of conflict in marriage leads towards intimacy. Healthy conflict reveals character in marriages.  Avoidance of conflict builds artificial bonds that stand in the way of Biblical intimacy.  Marriages with conflict are healthy and growing marriages.  Marriages without conflict are not healthy marriages. Today’s passage shows how one can treat his flesh, either in love or hate, growth or decline of a relationship.

 

I’ve learned three things about conflict:

1.  Do NOT react.

When the conflict comes your way, do not re-enact what you’re hearing, especially if you’re receiving the conflict in an initially negative tone.  What then should we do?

 

1. Respond.

Talk to your mate in manners of reverence and respect, even if you’re “right.”  This is the way of the Master toward us. 

 

1. Give the situation to the Lord.

Do not play the part of the Holy Spirit to your mate in conflict.  God has the authority to change things, not you.  God loves you and He will take care of you.

I don’t always get these instructions right, but they do work.  Handling conflict helps couples have great sex.

• Ask your spouse or a friend how you handle conflict.  How can you (married or single) improve?

 

• Lord God, we desire to handle conflict in a way that glorifies You and leads us to into, not away from, intimacy.

 

ajordan@southlandchristian.org

Malachi 2:13-14

13 Another thing you do: You flood the Lord's altar with tears. You weep and wail because he no longer looks with favor on your offerings or accepts them with pleasure from your hands.14 You ask, "Why?" It is because the Lord is the witness between you and the wife of your youth. You have been unfaithful to her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant

 

A video clip of “The Death Crawl” from the movie, Facing the Giants provides a great lesson about commitment: http://tinyurl.com/3s788qt

 

One reason sex fails to be everything it is meant to be in marriage is because we sometimes fail to give our marriage everything we’ve got.

 

The Jews in today’s passage put away their wives for others.  God considered this action in contempt of the marriage covenant and was displeased.  When we don’t place every effort into fulfilling one another in the fullness of our marital vows – we too are failing to meet the commitment of our marital vows.

 

Great sex in marriage is a result of complete devotion to one another.  Commitment helps women feel secure and men feel respected.  Biblical love is permanent, persevering and precious.  To be lazy in our commitment to marriage, not to give our marriage everything we’ve got, does not glorify our Father.

 

It’s not always easy to be fully committed in love, marriage and sexual wholeness amidst today’s distractions. Understanding our commitment to one another and our growth as a couple can create pleasant surprises in our intimacy with God and one another.  Commitment means giving our all. “Keep going!”

• Are you giving your marriage the full commitment it takes to be dynamic, resulting in great sex, or are you distracted?
• God, give us perseverance and perspective to make our marriages last a lifetime.

 

ajordan@southlandchristian.org

Proverbs 16:24

24 Gracious words are a honeycomb,
sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.

 

 

Having served on a conference staff discussing biblical love, sex, and romance for a few years, having been married for about the same amount of time, and being new to a church, imagine my delight when a new couple – seasoned in age and in marital ministry leadership experience both joined our church and became a mentoring couple to my wife and me!  I suppose, in some way I believed strengthening my marriage was going to be smooth sailing under their leadership.  This feeling lasted until Day 1 of a marriage class they taught, centered on the topic of “communication in marriage.”

 

Communication doesn’t always feel “pleasant,” or “sweet.”  Was I the only person in the world who felt this way, I wondered?

 

Effective communication in a marital relationship helps couples pave the road to fantastic sex.  Marital experts say most couples will experience sexual problems that would benefit from communication. Depression, grief, stress, medications, illness, exhaustion, pregnancy and childbirth, parenting, spiritual issues, trauma, hormones, diet, lack of exercise, or injury are just a few common issues that can derail us from great sex.  These and other common issues can present sexual problems.  Effective communication can bring about healing, sweetness, and eventually, great sex!

• Question:  What are the vital questions for good communication in your marriage?

 

• Prayer: Lord, help me to grow closer to my mate and to You by communicating effectively.

 Adaryll Jordon

ajordan@southlandchristian.org

Mark 2:3-5 (MSG)

“A crowd gathered, jamming the entrance so no one could get in or out. [Jesus] was teaching the Word. They brought a paraplegic to him, carried by four men. When they weren't able to get in because of the crowd, they removed part of the roof and lowered the paraplegic on his stretcher. Impressed by their bold belief, Jesus said to the paraplegic, "Son, I forgive your sins."

Motivational speaker Jim Rohn puts it this way: “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” If we are discussing what it means to be a “Man among Boys” within the context of dating and marriage relationships, there are two ways to take these words.

First, let’s discuss who you spend time with as an individual and as a couple.  The paraplegic had at least four friends who would stop at nothing to make sure he saw Jesus.  They knew Jesus was in town and there wasn’t anything that could stop them.  Does this sound like the friends you and your partner associate with?

Second, imagine yourself in this story.  If you were on the mat and needed four friends to carry you to Jesus, who would they be?  Is your partner the first person who comes to mind?

Child, sibling, parent, friend…whatever role we may live out must first begin with a deep love of Jesus.  Becoming the person whom your friends and family need you to be, will be a work of the Holy Spirit.   It is God’s grace, His patience that allows us to grow into Christ-likeness.  God will use the people closest to us to guide that process.  Therefore, it is up to us to choose wisely, those to whom we will give our time, energy, and love. 

• What does it mean to help guide your friend or partner towards intimacy with Jesus?
• How do your closest friends effect your relationship with Jesus?  With your partner?

 

Matthew 18:15 (MSG)

"If a fellow believer hurts you, go and tell him—work it out between the two of you. If he listens, you've made a friend.”

It is always easier to talk about someone or talk around an issue than to take it head on.  Or maybe it’s easier to ignore the problem and hope it goes away.  It takes incredible strength and discipline to approach someone directly and express a hurt or a need. 

A dear friend taught elementary school for nearly 30 years; he is an awesome teacher.  When it comes to conflict resolution he’s taught the same three step process for decades:

1. Place your hand on your friend’s shoulder
2. Look your friend in the eye
3. Tell your friend what hurts

It seems simple enough doesn’t it?  Truth be told, I am terrible at this.  It is a character flaw I pray into often.  There’s no way I can grow intimacy with my family or with Jesus if I am unable to have these difficult conversations.

Maybe you don’t ignore problems like I do, instead you tell everyone.  Everyone except the one person directly involved, that is.  Would you rather complain to coworkers about your partner’s behavior instead of confronting them?  Again, this may seem easier in the short term, but it does nothing to foster intimacy in a relationship.  If we are unable to go through the hard stuff with our loved ones how will our relationships ever make it?

• What stops you from expressing hurts or needs? 
• How do you feel when your partner confronts you?  Are you able to hear them and then make necessary changes?

Mark 1:35 (NIV)

“Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed.”

I was a busy guy in high school; football, band, jazz band, orchestra, student government, work nights/weekends, honors classes, and a bustling social life.  Everyone was quite impressed, and that’s the way I liked it, to be honest. 

When I was a youth pastor I was always competing for students’ time.  Often youth group, camp, and Bible study became more clutter in the family calendar.  It was difficult to help students and their families see the importance of saying no to certain extracurricular activities or other seemingly important events.   Our culture tells us we must always be in motion; we are only as good as what we produce.  As parents, we are told our kids cannot compete in high school sports if they don’t start playing by age three.  How can our kids get into a good college if they don’t play three instruments and speak four languages?

The mature believer understands the rhythm of life.  The mature believer can say ‘no’ to a cluttered calendar and set proper priorities for themselves and their family.  Pastor Rick Warren says “Let melookatyour calendarandyour checkbookandI'lltellyou what youlove.” 

When life goes at breakneck speed it’s easy to allow important appointments to push out time with loved ones, time with Jesus, and time to simply sit and watch the clouds go by. 

• What does your calendar say about whom and what you love?  How do you make your family a top priority in your schedule?
• What do you need to say ‘no’ to?  Whom do you need to say yes to?

Matthew 11:28-30 (MSG)

"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly."

Some Jewish believers constructed a complex series of rules and regulations in relating to God.  They did this with good hearts -- they were so concerned about offending God they took every precaution.  But the result was an oppressive system with hundreds of rules that weighed down believers.

Often this is still the perception of following Jesus today.  Non-believers view the Bible as a book of rules with severe punishments.  Sadly, this view can hold true for immature Jesus followers as well.  They see church, Bible reading, giving, and lifestyle choices as religious boxes that need to be checked off from time to time rather than embracing a life giving relationship with Jesus.

Jesus’ answer to this: “Walk with me and work with me – watch how I do it.”

The God of the universe invites us into daily relationship.  He invites us into true intimacy.  Not into legalism or simple rule keeping but relationship; messy relationship.  As we become more intimate with Jesus and learn what it means to live in a relationship based on grace and love…well, after experiencing that why would we settle for anything less in our earthly relationships?

• How does the concept of ‘intimacy’ with Jesus make you feel?  How does that compare with the intimacy you have with family or friends? 

Matthew 5:13-16 (MSG)

Salt and Light

"Let me tell you why you are here. You're here to be salt-seasoning that brings out the God-flavors of this earth. If you lose your saltiness, how will people taste godliness? You've lost your usefulness and will end up in the garbage. Here's another way to put it: You're here to be light, bringing out the God-colors in the world.”

 

 

This week’s sermon theme is “Man and Woman.” We will look at the difference between a mature Jesus follower and one who does not yet know Jesus.  The broader topic is a look at the believer’s life “in the world -- ‘Jesus followers among the nations’ if you will.

The Christian is meant to be Christ’s ambassador to the world.  Compare our calling to a political appointment: the US Ambassador to China may spend an incredible amount of time in China…learning Chinese customs, language, history, etc.  However, the ambassador will never become Chinese.  He will always be a citizen of the USA, his extended family will be back in the US waiting for him, and his paychecks will come from the US government. 

The mature believer is called to represent Christ in the world but never blend into his or her surroundings.  Our lifestyle should always point to how the Holy Spirit is moving in the world.  Our saltiness is meant to complement God’s flavors in the world.  Of course we learn all we can of the world, we must understand our surroundings BUT…not to oversimplify it…we must always be different. 

We are salt where flavors of despair and routine have muddied the pallet for something far greater.  We are brilliant Son light where darkness has overtaken.

• So, do you stick out?  Are you different?  Or have you traded in your citizenship and defected, in order to blend into the world you were meant to serve?

I distinctly remember thinking the following thought during my thirties, and entering it in my journal: Okay, Jesus, I know you are my portion. I know You are enough. I’m following Your precepts. So…when do I get my man with skin on? (May 26, 1996)

It was written less than two weeks after my Daddy passed away. I was hurting. I was lonely. I was a little fearful, even. The most important human man in my life was no longer there.

The next journal entry occurred the very next day, around 3:00 a.m. The Lord woke me up out of a sound sleep with one sentence. These are the only words on the page that day:

“I know his name.”

That’s it. Four words. Four words that said I could stop worrying or thinking about it, because the Lord already knew who it was going to be.

I had to wait three more years before I knew my man’s name the way the Lord did. He still had some work to do in me, and some work to do in him. But I never again cast one care about it.

And when He delivered him, I knew, that I knew, that I knew. When Greg came along, I knew. Oh, how I praise Him still for the gift of my Mr. Man, my Mr. Right.

I know He spoke to me in the still of that night to reassure me. So let me pass it along, friend.

He knows his name.

He knows her name.

 

Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.(Psalm 73:25-26 – NIV)

 

• Father, help us in our unbelief.
• Eat a piece of cake with icing this week. Remember, Jesus is the cake of your life. The person he has for you is never more than the icing.

rhatton@southlandchristian.org

“You’re worth the wait.” Journal entry, March 24, 1994

All of us have believed lies from time to time. A dangerous lie for any of us to believe is that we better just settle for what is in front of us because there might not be a “next one.” This is one the enemy of your soul loves to whisper to you so that you’ll be bound to someone who is intrinsically wrong for you. And then the battle is only uphill.

I had lunch today with a single girlfriend who said, “Aren’t you so glad you waited those 39 years for Greg?” To which I replied, “I’d wait another 39 for him because he’s so much more than I imagined or asked for.” My “immeasurably more” man. Thanks, Jesus!

Be aware the enemy can put many stumbling blocks into your path. Sometimes they are very handsome. Sometimes very pretty. Whatever they are, they will cause you to live beneath your privilege as a child of the Most High God.

Once you live in the understanding of your identity in Christ Jesus, things change. Those things that used to attract us change. Girls, bad boys don’t look so exciting and dangerous anymore. They look pathetic. Fellas, fast women don’t look fun and mysterious. They look shady, and definitely not the makings of the mother of your children.

Remember, they’re only buying what you’re selling.

Be willing to wait. I’ve yet to read a story from the Bible about a person who runs ahead of God in His plans for his or her life that pain wasn’t involved. Ask Sarah. Ask David. Ask Samson.

You’re worth the wait.

 

Be still and know that I am God.(Psalm 46:10 – NIV)

 

I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope.(Psalm 130:5 – NIV)

 

• Ask the Lord to shore up any need in you to “settle” for less than you’re worth.

rhatton@southlandchristian.org

 

January 1, 1995: “Make your life such an adventure, that someone wants to take the ride right along with you.” Don’t waste your singleness. I truly squirm when women say they are “waiting for Mr. Right.” Who wants someone who’s just sitting around, for goodness’ sake?

Barrel on through life, capturing all the excitement and adventure you can as you enjoy the gift of singleness. Why? Because you can rest in and be absolutely certain that at just the right moment, God will bring you that one person He has chosen, especially for you.

Pursue everything you need to educationally, professionally, and most important: spiritually. When that person finally happens upon the gift of you, be sure you are a gift. Marriage is not as much finding the right person as being the right person.

Ask God to reveal to you anything in your nature, character or actions that would be a hindrance in marriage. This is a dangerous prayer, to be sure. But it is one that can save you (and your spouse) much heartache and pain in the long run. Then, when He reveals anything to you, be obedient.

Singleness is truly a wonderful time. Whether you experience it until you’re twenty-something, thirty-something or beyond. Because the God of the universe is revealing Himself specifically to you. And He has set you free for adventure.

 

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened by a yoke of slavery.(Galatians 5:1 – NIV)

 

I will walk about in freedom, for I have sought out your precepts.(Psalm 119:45 – NIV)

 

Either get going, or carry on, dear friend! Be blessed!

• Make your “bucket list.” And get busy!

rhatton@southlandchristian.org

 

Look beside you and see who is racing with all their heart and strength toward Jesus. Then run the race with that person.That was a journal entry on August 10, 1993. My 33^rd birthday.

It’s easy to get sidetracked in finding Mr. Right by “nice” people. You know what I’m talking about. Those guys and gals who are perfectly nice, but have no real passion for Jesus Christ beyond showing up for church each week. I went out with too many of them to count!

But the Lord’s desire is to give us “immeasurably more than we can ask or imagine.” I knew the Lord had not given me such a passionate love for His Son, to then pair me up with someone who just thought He was “okay.” 

If the person you date is not passionately surrendered to the authority of Jesus Christ in his or her life, run. Do not look back. Run. It will not improve with marriage. Run. Now.

So, get your priorities in order. Then, look around and determine that your eyes are only meant for someone who loves Jesus as much as you – or more. Then lace up your track shoes.

The race is on!

 

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen!(Ephesians 3:202-21 – NIV)

 

• Ask God to open your eyes to the truth. You WILL recognize counterfeit when you absolutely know the real thing. Be willing to run, if necessary.

 

rhatton@southlandchristian.org

This week I’m remembering some of the truths of my life, and sharing them with you from journal entries when I was single. Today’s is this: Get your house in order. Because when it happens, it will be swift and sure. This was from an entry in my early 30s. I believed those words to be directly from the Lord regarding my soul mate. In other words, your priorities need to be in line with God’s will.

I married my high school sweetheart … at the ripe old age of 39. And while you do the math in your head, no, we didn’t date for 22 years, for goodness’ sake! College – and then life – separated us, but when I came across him again, the connection was instantaneous and we are deliriously happy, 11 years later. Truly.

People often comment on how happily married we are. And we are. Our life is filled with the Lord, family and friendship. We are blessed.

For me, the time before husband was a “finding Mr. Right experience.” It was fun in my twenties. Not so much in my thirties. I confess there were moments of wonder and excitement, and a few of loneliness and questions. Especially at the holidays, when it seemed the entire world (with the exception of me) was paired up.

But overall, even in those days, life was filled with the Lord, family and friendship. Wow. I just realized what I said. My house was in order.

 

 May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.(Romans 15:13 – NIV)

 

• Friend, is your house in order? What priorities does He need to have authority over?
• Married people: Who in your life is single? Will you commit to pray for their spouses?

 Rebecca Hatton

rhatton@southlandchristian.org